the switch to 35mm isn't logical as i have stated, i am not the decisive moment type, i wander slowly, am hardly discrete as i tend to stare so and while i hate to be a part of a trend, i don't think i would change format to stay aloof - i'd just get a cooler camera. as cameras go to-day joãozão is pretty discrete when placed near a dslr, it looks like a black box. it is also perfect in my view as it is so non threatening.

i feel that all of this angst is me getting ready for the next upheaval in the world of film. it came to my notice in the autumn when i had to come down on for an evening class. coming down early to explore, i would head to the edges of chicago and instead of walking away - my natural inclination - i would walk back toward the loop.

i was having a hard time finding film for ubaldo. fuji had stopped making neopan 400, which meant the prices for 120 film almost doubled - $2.50 then $4,20 now. the other mistake was heading to central camera which was empty of any film that wasn't 35mm. i found that i would have to not only search out film but also reckon how much i would need for the outing and buy only that. it got so bad trying to find film on short notice when buying it via mail order, that i bought out the the stock - 10 rolls - of the camera shop in kenosha - it was still cheaper than central.

i am sure this experience "scarred" me. it didn't help matters when i ordered film from cambridge camera in new york i found that the prices were for bait and switch. the film didn't arrive. a phone call did telling me how much i could buy film for - of course no place close to the advert i had seen - no problem i make deal for you. yes problem it is no deal.

the second outing i was on i made the last snap on the last frame of the last roll at the bus stop for the ride back even in i was in high conservation mode for the last stretch, no bracketing was allowed.

while i thought that with digital 35mm would be the first to go, i can still get film at the price that i can afford - $2,00/roll. i am sure that this has me dedicating myself meticulously using 35mm once again.

it has become a habit now. for about a year i have used the somewhat artificial period of the semester to make work in a specific way. normally it has to do with hardware. the time is long enough to commit but not so long that i forget the purpose of the exercise. for the past three semesters i have been bifurcating my snaps by making sure that i only used 35mm when i was heading to school. initially the reason for this was my feeling uncomfortable with the format, along with seeing all the snaps missed by trying to dig joãoznao out of the bag. it became habit to put a leiquinha around my wrist when i left the train or when i headed out during lunch.

another reason that came up while i was well into the exercise was how 35mm simply wasn't done anymore. on one level it had been made obsolete by digital but at school it seemed trendy to use medium format as if it were 35mm - and no wonder when the standard size now is 100x80cm one needs all the help one can get.

even though three books have come of the work, i still saw it as a side project when i was really on a wander or out of a busy urban area - it would be back to medium format. so it was a given when last week when heading to racine - a ghost town of a city if there ever was one - i packed up joãozão for a wander downtown after breakfast in a new restaurant.

i regretted not bringing a leiquinha. worse i wondered why i brought such a large camera. i know why nothing was moving i didn't have to be discrete and i like detail. it seemed however the walks across the loop had me liking the idea of note-taking again and anything larger than 35mm was overkill. as for detail i don't make big prints.

there was an inkling of this in baltimore when even though at first i headed out with both cameras, the cost of 120 film in charm city was so high that i decided not to use it. there was no problem when walking about with chi one didn't have to wait for me to set up, the conversation could flow, and there wasn't the constant stoppage for changing film. but i was surprised when a leiquinha was used for the stoney run wander something unthinkable six months before this and i was still nervous after having done as i showed the snaps to people worrying about the quality. the prints were 15x10 cm.

now i still use medium format when i am out in the county but now have even given up carrying it as a security blanket when i am in town. i still have five of the 30 rolls that i bought at the end of last year while i am on my third brick of 35.